Warrior or Worrier- The choice is yours!

6th June 2005– twenty-eight year old raped by her father in law in Muzaffernagar. After which her marriage was null because the sharia regards sexual relationship with both father & son as illegal.

26th March 2015– seventy-one year old catholic nun raped by eight men in Ranaghat, Nadia district of West Bengal.

16th December 2012– it was not a rape, but the most devilish act anyone could imagine. Six men molested a twenty-three old for hours and it did not end there, they injected a wheel jack handle into her genitals, damaging her abdomen and intestine.

29th May 2017– an infant girl dies after being thrown out of a moving truck because three men decided to rape her mother on the national highway eight and she was causing disruption in there horrendous act.

9th May 2017– a twenty-year-old woman was gang raped and killed in Rohtak, Haryana allegedly by her jilted lover-also a dalit and his friend. They smashed her face with a brick and run their car over her body to make it unidentifiable.

These are not only very few of the many molestation cases registered in our courts, but a shame on our country. Such incidents are not only life shattering moments but destroy faith in life, families, communities, and society on the whole. They leave an awful impact on the human mind but the dilemma of our brain is that we tend to forget them until the next one happens, which flashes the reality of our traditions and culture, all over again. The truth is, we are a part of a circle now, the diameter of which never seems to end. We can never get out of it; until the prospective victim decides to fight her own battle.

A lot of times, women gather, make videos or talk publicly about how men are being so unfair when they comment about how a woman is dressed and that her dress invites trouble for her. In a country like India, where rapes are not for physical pleasure but more like a mental illness, if women are asked to be more conscious about their security, there is no harm in it. Men might have been rude in saying so but being a woman, I can say that if we had to attend a wedding, we would pull out the best salwar-kameez or lehnga and in the same way, formals for office, then what is the harm in dressing appropriately for other places too. In India, roads are not just meant for travelling but they are like ramps where men are the spectators of how pretty you look, and also what they can get out of you- a visual treat or something more.

Many of you might think that its men who need to mend their ways and not women, but now comes the climax of the story. Lets talk about what I mean by dressing “Appropriately”. Its not, what you thought so far, we are not asking you to quit wearing all those beautiful dresses that you have in your closet. They are made for you, there is a huge industry that runs for you, and you give a lot of money to big fashion houses to grow further. So then what, babes please understand- you are your own savior. It is simply survival of the fittest here, that is the law of nature and its high time we, as women realise that. So the next time you throw a lipstick, a hairbrush and a wallet in your handbag don’t forget to carry a knife, a pepper spray and a stun gun too. Do you now understand how to dress appropriately…smile; we aren’t taking your freedom away! If you have plans on a Saturday night to party, to drink and get sloshed, be smart enough to plan a safe return prior to the night out. There is no harm in being cautious about your own security. Stay physically fit; train yourself with self-defense techniques. We are not weak at all, stand for each other and help one another fight the societal evils. Rapes happen to both men and women so we were not just meant to be, where we are today.

Since times unknown, we have prayed to Maa durga. It is time now, to collect ourself and gain strength from her. Rapes, domestic violence, no education rights, gender inequality, and in fact the right to birth is also snatched away from us. When Durga received her powers and declared battle against Mahishasura, he mocked her saying a woman cannot slay an eternal power like him. In the battle, he (his manhood) was struck down effortlessly by Durga (a woman). This is an example of smiting the patriarchy. People will criticise and try to take you down but no one, not even a demon can defeat you if you are confident enough. Just take control of your actions.

 

AH! In pain, my soul cries

I worship her but she dies,

Each day, every day

Her birth will only pay,

 

She is constantly looted,

Opinions lowly prosecuted;

Society will forever yearn,

She simply needs to learn,

 

The world merely lures,

Her carriage carries cures;

Her fortitude must fill in,

And fight against her villain.

 

By

Ritika Walia Mehra

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Just before you give up, Think again!

BOOM! A harsh sound was heard and seconds later a five year old saw her mother fall flat on the floor. The woman was rushed to the hospital. In the meanwhile cops came and questioned everyone present in the room, when the incident happened. Her two children, five and three years old and her husband were the eyewitnesses. The wife had come to know about her husband’s extra marital affair, and the couple was having an argument over the same. Just then in the heat of the moment, she took out his licensed gun from the drawer and shot herself. Her last words, “If I am an obstacle in your love story, I shall be gone”. She was now breathing her last in the hospital and tears rolled down her eyes, when she looked at her children. She was guilty and thought to her self, he would never take care of them and she had destroyed three lives in 5seconds. She took a final glance at her children and thought to her self, how important was it, for her to stay back but her eyes were shut. Her kids could never sleep peacefully since then.

What could possibly force a mother to take such a drastic step, Anger, frustration, a sense of failure or a broken faith? No one knows where we come from and what’s next after death. We all have one chance to live it, and win it. Problems would never end. We face them in all spheres of life. Life is a battleground for all, if not this; we could be fighting something else. Anyone can get up and say, “If you were in my shoes, you would know.” But hey I am wearing my own pair. Lets try exchanging, believe me it wouldn’t be fun. We have become pros at handling our own struggles. No one can fight ours better than us. If there are haters, there are lovers too. Anger takes away our intelligence and hampers our ability to perceive, forgive and forget.

Please scrutinise your issues; there could be reasons for extreme anger. Only if we know the reasons we can solve our problems. Usually it’s a pile of instances, which result in massive reactions to small matters but usually termed as baseless by people because they wouldn’t search for reasons in the past. Failing after regular attempts to achieve something, Things not turning out your way, you could be taking out some one else’s anger on yourself. The last and most unexpected reason could be any physical disturbance in the body. We usually tend to get irritated when we are unwell, but anger without a disease could also signal towards some internal issues. Physical weaknesses or sufferings take away the mental strength too. There could be hormonal issues in women, which push them towards extreme anger or frustration.

Reasons could be any but in any such situation, most people come out as losers rather than gainers. An angry or frustrated body only attracts negative energy. Here is a list of a few ways in which we can overcome difficult situations. First and foremost, “Delay the moment”

If you have to take a decision or get into a conversation, postpone it till you are calmer. If things are not turning your way after repeated efforts, then there might be some divine force trying to push you towards something better, because how much ever we analyze the existence of this force, all religion do support the existence of a super power. Some other ways could be writing down your thoughts on a piece of paper, it seems very satisfactory for a few, because sometimes you just want things to get out of your system rather than taking action. You could just make a note in your phone and delete it later. Talk to a friend, you might not always wish to discuss your problems but it could completely change your mood. Listen to some music don’t let your self-aloof. There are many solutions once you decide that life is worth living, and my struggles are my achievements. We are not even talking about wining or losing. Going through harsh times clearly displays your capabilities.

I would end with another story, which might help you, delay your frustration the next time you want are in a difficult situation. A man was walking angrily from side to side outside the operation theatre. Just then he sees the doctor walk in, buttoning his suit up. He went ahead and abused the doctor in front of all his staff for being late. He held him by the collar and told him, he hadn’t seen someone so irresponsible. The doctor did not speak and just rushed in to perform his duty. After three hours of surgery, the doctor returned and told the man his son was all right and he is sorry for the delay and walked off. The man was still not ready to forgive him, just then a nurse came up to him and informed that rather than being abusive, you should be grateful and sympathetic towards the doctor as he just returned from his son’s funeral. Please give this blog a thought and watch yourself the next time you get into a random argument with anyone.

By

Ritika Walia Mehra